dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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