That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
