that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
