WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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