Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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