Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
