Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
