Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
