I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
