I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im part way to drunk.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
