It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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