apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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