Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
