...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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