are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
