we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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