I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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