I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
