if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
God I need to hump something, right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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