I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
