so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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