I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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