So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
