Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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