Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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