I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
When are your genitals available?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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