Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
