Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
