bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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