Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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