you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
