They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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