Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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