you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
