I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
