Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The chlamydia really affected his face.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
