Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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