I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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