Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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