You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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