This is not my ceiling
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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