How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
