when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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