she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
