Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the day after is always just damage control
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
