I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
