Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
