I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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