is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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