Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
