no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
